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Spend Your Days, Watch The Waves With Me

I like to think I’ve grown into a better, stronger person over the last eight months. But who’s to say, I guess.

A lot has happened and a lot has changed since the last time I wrote down any of my feelings and inner most thoughts.

Some silly boy, who was never good enough for me, broke my heart.

I decided I needed to move back in with my mom.

The company I worked for eliminated my position and laid me off.

I started going to the gym, though somehow gained 15 pounds. It’s all muscle, I swear. I’m working towards real goals that I made and can see the difference in my body every time I look in the mirror. And I love knowing that I am in control of how I look and feel.

I have a new job, and while I’m not loving it, it does have its perks.

And I’m in a new relationship with someone who I can see myself falling for. But don’t tell him that.

I’m still playing hard to get.

"But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us—to know
Whence our lives come and where they go."

The Buried Life - Matthew Arnold